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The National Marriage Project,
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International Divorce
(International divorce lawyer, Jeremy D. Morley)
New Study: Men on Marriage Strike Because
They Fear Divorce (United States)
June 2nd, 2008 by Glenn Sacks, MA for
Fathers & Families
In my co-authored column Have Anti-Father
Family Court Policies Led to a Men's Marriage Strike? (Philadelphia Inquirer,
(7/5/02) six years ago I postulated that men were on a "Marriage
Strike" because of the way they get manhandled in divorce. A new study
supports that view. According to Reuters' Men prefer being solo over a bad
marriage: study (6/2/08):
[Carl] Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of
1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into
why some smart, successful men opted to stay single -- and help lifelong
bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.
He concluded that most men were not afraid
of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage.
"Men are 10 times more scared of
marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman
told Reuters in a telephone interview.
"This is the first generation of
people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something
wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and
not given in to social pressures"...
But while 72 percent of respondents said
they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that
scared them most was marrying the wrong person...
Weisman also found that financial issues,
both positive and negative, played a large part in men's fear of commitment...
"[T]hose who are financially sound
were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them."
Another one the study's findings, and a
sad one, is this:
"Those with little money said they
would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues
and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Weisman.
One thing I found a little surprising is
this:
Weisman said his research blew away any
idea that single men were unhappy.
"A compelling issue was how many of
them had found contentment in a never-married life," he said. "They
had created lives full of careers, friends and ambitions. It was not like they
walk around all day worried about not being married."
I'm of the general opinion that marriage
and fatherhood is a good thing for men, and that unfortunately it has been
poisoned to some degree by our anti-male family law system. Perhaps more of
these bachelors are happy being single, as this research suggests.
One thing that disappointed me about the
study's findings is this--men apparently worried about losing their money in
divorces but not losing their kids. This means either one of two things,
neither of them good:
1) The men weren't that concerned over
losing their kids.
2) The men didn't realize how common it is
for fathers to lose their kids.
Courtesy: http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=2250
U.S. Census Bureau
According to data supplied by the U.S.
Census Bureau, there were 2,395,000 marriages in the U.S. in the 12 months
ending June, 1997 (and 1,154,000 divorces in the same period). The 4,000 to
6,000 marriages involving international services represent, then, a tiny
portion (.021 percent) of the women who marry U.S. men.
It is interesting to note that, based
largely on data provided by the agencies themselves (along with the Commission
on Filipinos Overseas report cited above), marriages arranged through these
services would appear to have a much lower divorce rate than the nation as a
whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for
which reports are available."
The divorce rate for American men who
marry American women: 57% (officially). But since the figures from several
states (including California) are excluded, the true national divorce rate is
likely closer to 65%. The divorce rate in California is over 70%.
The divorce rate for American men who
marry foreign women: approximately 20%.
So you can marry an American woman and
have a close to two-thirds chance of getting divorced, or you can marry a
foreign woman and have at least a 75% chance of success.
Courtesy: http://www.laborlawtalk.com/archive/index.php/t-6159.html
The normal lifestyle of American young
adults is to live together for a period of time in a type of informal trial
marriage. These relationships frequently do not endure.
A growing percentage of committed
couples have decided to live in a common-law relationship rather than get
married. This is particularly true among some elderly who fear reduction in
government support payments.
The current U.S. divorce rate:
The media frequently reports that 50% of
American marriages will end in divorce. This number appears to have been
derived from very skimpy data related to a single county or state. However, it
appears to be reasonable close to the probable value. The Americans for
Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably, 40 or possibly even 50
percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue. However,
that is only a projection and a prediction." 7
Divorce rates among Christian
groups:
The slogan: "The family that prays
together, stays together" is well known. There has been much anecdotal
evidence that has led to "unsubstantiated claims that the divorce rate
for Christians who attended church regularly, pray together or who meet other
conditions is only 1 or 2 percent". 8 Emphasis ours]. Dr.
Tom Ellis, chairman of the Southern Baptist Convention's Council on the
Family said that for "...born-again Christian couples who
marry...in the church after having received premarital counseling...and attend
church regularly and pray daily together..." experience only 1 divorce
out of nearly 39,000 marriages -- or 0.00256 percent. 9
A recent study by the Barna Research
Group throws extreme doubt on these estimates. Barna released the results
of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21. 1 They had interviewed
3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states. The margin of error is ±2
percentage points. The survey found:
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George Barna, president and founder of
Barna Research Group, commented:
"While it may be alarming to discover
that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce,
that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing,
perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel
their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing.
But the research also raises questions regarding the effectiveness of how
churches minister to families. The ultimate responsibility for a marriage
belongs to the husband and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the
Christian community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical
and life-changing support for marriages."
According to the Dallas Morning News, a
Dallas TX newspaper, the national study "raised eyebrows, sowed
confusion, [and] even brought on a little holy anger." This
caused George Barna to write a letter to his supporters, saying that he
is standing by his data, even though it is upsetting. He said that "We
rarely find substantial differences" between the moral behavior of
Christians and non-Christians. Barna Project Director Meg Flammang said:
"We would love to be able to report that Christians are living very
distinct lives and impacting the community, but ... in the area of divorce
rates they continue to be the same." Both statements seem to be
projecting the belief that conservative Christians and liberal Christians have
the same divorce rate. This disagrees with their own data.
The survey has come under some criticism:
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One reason for the discrepancy of beliefs
about divorce rates among born-again Christians may be that their churches are
unaware of the true number of divorcing couples in their midst.
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Barna report: Variation in divorce rates
among Christian faith groups:
|
Denomination (in order of decreasing
divorce rate) |
% who have been divorced |
|
Non-denominational ** |
34% |
|
Baptists |
29% |
|
Mainline Protestants |
25% |
|
Mormons |
24% |
|
Catholics |
21% |
|
Lutherans |
21% |
** Barna uses the term
"non-denominational" to refer to Evangelical Christian congregations
that are not affiliated with a specific denomination. The vast majority are
fundamentalist in their theological beliefs. More info.
Barna's results verified findings of
earlier polls: that conservative Protestant Christians, on average, have the
highest divorce rate, while mainline Christians have a much lower rate. They
found some new information as well: that atheists and agnostics have the lowest
divorce rate of all. George Barna commented that the results raise "questions
regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families." The
data challenge "the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing
support for marriage."
Donald Hughes, author of The Divorce
Reality, said:
"In the churches, people have a
superstitious view that Christianity will keep them from divorce, but they are
subject to the same problems as everyone else, and they include a lack of
relationship skills. ...Just being born again is not a rabbit's foot."
Hughes claim that 90% of divorces among
born-again couples occur after they have been "saved."
Variation in divorce rates by religion:
|
Religion |
% have been divorced |
|
Jews |
30% |
|
Born-again Christians |
27% |
|
Other Christians |
24% |
|
Atheists, Agnostics |
21% |
Ron Barrier, Spokespersonn for American
Atheists remarked on these findings with some rather caustic comments
against organized religion. He said:
"These findings confirm what I have
been saying these last five years. Since Atheist ethics are of a higher caliber
than religious morals, it stands to reason that our families would be dedicated
more to each other than to some invisible monitor in the sky. With
Atheism, women and men are equally responsible for a healthy marriage.
There is no room in Atheist ethics for the type of 'submissive' nonsense
preached by Baptists and other Christian and/or Jewish groups. Atheists
reject, and rightly so, the primitive patriarchal attitudes so prevalent in
many religions with respect to marriage." 2
StopTheReligiousRight.org had some scathing comments as well:
"We hear an awful lot from
conservatives in the Bible Belt and on the TV about how we all should be
living. Certainly a culture that teaches the conservative religious values of
the Christian right must have clean living written all over it. And lots of
ripe fruit from their morally superior lives abounding."
"It doesn't. Far from it. People that talk the loudest may be the ones
walking the slowest. Joining its history of Biblically correct bigotry and
discrimination, it is an area with the highest divorce, murder, STD/HIV/AIDS,
teen pregnancy, single parent homes, infant mortality, and obesity rates in the
nation. As a region, the Bible Belt has the poorest health care systems and the
lowest rates of high school graduation." 12
Variation in divorce rates by age:
|
Age group |
% have been divorced |
|
Baby boomers (33 to 52 years of age) |
34% |
|
Builders (53 to 72 years of age) |
37% |
|
Seniors (above 72 years of age) |
18% |
Many seniors were married in the late 40's
or early 50's at a time when divorce rates were much lower than they are today.
Variation in divorce rates by location:
The Barna Group study found:
|
Area |
% are or have been divorced |
|
South |
27% |
|
Midwest |
27% |
|
West |
26% |
|
Northeast |
19% |
The Associated Press computed
divorce statistics from data supplied by the U.S. Census Bureau and the National
Center for Health.4 They found that Nevada had the highest
divorce rate, at 8.5 divorces per 1,000 people in 1998. Nevada has had a
reputation as a quickie divorce location for decades. People from other states
visited Nevada, fulfilled their residency requirements, got divorced and
returned home single.
The data showed that the highest divorce
rates were found in the Bible Belt. "Tennessee, Arkansas, Alabama and
Oklahoma round out the Top Five in frequency of divorce...the divorce rates in
these conservative states are roughly 50 percent above the national average"
of 4.2/1000 people.
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Some of the factors that contribute to a
high divorce rate in the Bible Belt, relative to Northeastern states are:
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Associated Press' confirmation of Barna's
results:
The Associated Press analyzed divorce
statistics from the US Census Bureau. They found that Massachusetts had the
lowest divorce rate in the U.S. at 2.4 per 1,000 population. Texas had the
highest rate at 4.1 per 1,000. They found that the highest divorce rates are
found in the "Bible Belt."
According to the Boston Globe:
"The AP report stated that 'the
divorce rates in these conservative states are roughly 50 percent above the
national average of 4.2 per thousand people.' The 10 Southern states with some of
the highest divorce rates were Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, Georgia,
Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Texas. By comparison
nine states in the Northeast were among those with the lowest divorce rates:
Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York,
Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont."
One reason for the higher divorce rates in
the Bible Belt may be the lower percentage of Roman Catholics in the South.
Their denomination does not recognize divorce. Other reasons could be related
more to culture than religion:
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Divorce among Protestant clergy:
A 1997-AUG survey by Barna among 601
senior Protestant pastors revealed that the vast majority are married (95%).
Only 13% have ever gone through a divorce. This is about half of the rate among
the general population. "Just 3% of all current senior pastors are
divorced and have not remarried." 6
Divorce among members of the Unification
Church:
Michael Inglis, a member of the
Unification Church staff, reported on 2000-MAR-28 the results of a survey of
some of the couples who were married in two mass marriage blessing ceremonies
during 1982. One was in New York City and involved 2,075 couples; the other was
in Seoul Korea and involved 6,000 couples. In most, the founder of the church,
Reverend Moon, paired up the couples. Participants in the study were chosen
from among those individuals who had worked in the U.S. If the 294 subjects,
48% were American citizens, 24% Japanese, 14% Europeans, and 14% other. Inglis
found that:
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Data from the Unification Church compares very
favorably with those from all other faith groups. This is in spite of the
couples having known each other for a only a very short interval before
marriage.
One factor that may have contributed to
their marriage stability is that the couples averaged 2.52 children, compared
with the American average of 1.6. A 1977 study showed that divorce in America
is most common in families with large families and among those that are
childless; a moderate number of children contributes to marital stability. 13
Another study in the same year stated that "divorce and separation
rates are moderately lower for those who have children than for the childless."
14
Combating the high divorce rate:
In 1999, the National Center for Policy
Analysis (NCPA) reported that in the U.S.:
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In the same year, Mike Huckabee, governor
of Arkansas, declared a "marital emergency." His goal was to
halve the divorce rate in his state by 2010, from 6.1 per 1,000 people per year
to about 3. Frank Keating, governor of Oklahoma also initiated a campaign to
reduce the divorce rate in his state by a third by 2009, from 6.0 to about 4. 4,5
By the end of 2001, Huckabee's program in
Arkansas appeared to be a failure. The divorce rate had increased to 6.6 per
1,000 people per year. Arkansas state ranked 46th in the nation. By the end of
2004, the rate had dropped slightly to 6.3 -- still higher that the value when
the program began.
By the end of 2001, Oklahoma's program
appears to be a success. Their divorce rate was 3.4.
Some of the approaches being used by
governments and religious groups to reduce the divorce rate are:
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References:
The following information sources were
used to prepare and update the above essay. The hyperlinks are not necessarily
still active today.
1.
"Christians are more likely to experience divorce than are non-Christians,"
Barna Research Group, 1999-DEC-21, at: http://www.barna.org/ Barna no longer has
this report online. However, a review of the report is at: http://www.adherents.com/
2. AANews,
Posting #699, issued by American Atheists on 2000-JAN-2.
3. Michael
Inglis, "Survey of the Unification Church 1982 marriages," at: http://www.unification.net/
4. "Bible
belt has nation's worse divorce rate," CNN.com, 1999-NOV-12. Online
at: http://www.cnn.com/ (Cache copy as of
2000-FEB-11. The page has since expired.) A similar report is at: http://www.divorcereform.org/
5. David
Crary, "Deep in the Bible Belt, a counterattack on the nation's worst
divorce rate," Detroit News, 1999-NOV-11, at: http://detnews.com/
6.
"Survey provides profile of Protestant Pastors," 1998-JAN-6, at: http://www.barna.org/
7.
"Divorce statistics collection: Summary of findings so far,"
Americans for Divorce Reform, at: http://www.divorcereform.org/
8.
"Fresh Thinking Needed on Divorce Issues," Jesus Journal, at: http://www.jesusjournal.com/
9. John
Rossomando, "Born-Again Christians No More Immune to Divorce Than Others,
Says Author," CNSNews, 2002-JAN-21, at: http://www.cnsnews.com/
10. Donald Hughes, "The Divorce
Reality." 109 pages. This is an eBook written from a positive,
conservative Christian. It can be purchased and then downloaded from Theatron
Media at: www.Bookstore.TheatronMedia.com
11. William V. D'Antonio,
"Walking the walk on family values," The Boston Globe, 2004-OCT-31,
at: http://www.boston.com/
12. James Veverka, "The moral
hypocrisy of the Bible Belt," Stop The Religious Right, undated, at: http://www.stopthereligiousright.org/
13. Arland Thornton, "Children
and Marital Stability," Journal of Marriage and the Family, Vol. 39, #3,
1977-AUG, Pages 531-539. Abstract at: http://www.eric.ed.gov/
14. Aandrew Cherlin, "The
effect of children on marital dissolution," Demography©, Vol. 14, #3,
1977-AUG, Pages 265 to 272. Abstract at: http://links.jstor.org/
15. "Bible Belt Leads U.S. In
Divorces," National Center for Policy Analysis, 1999-NOV-19, at: http://www.ncpa.org/
16. "U.S. state divorce
rates...including 2004 data." Divorce Reform, at: http://www.divorcereform.org/
Copyright © 2000 to 2009 by Ontario
Consultants on Religious Tolerance
Originally written: 2000-APR-27
Latest update: 2009-JUL-20
Author: B.A. Robinson
Courtesy: http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
World Divorce Statistics
|
Percentage of New Marriages which End in
Divorce, in Selected Countries (2002) |
|
|
Country |
Divorces (as % of marriages) |
|
Sweden |
54.9 |
|
Divorce Rate (per 1,000 population per
year) |
|
|
Country |
Divorce Rate (per 1,000 population per
year) |
|
Maldives |
10.97 |
Courtasy: http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsWorld.shtml